Red Car Cuckold!

Smiling as he's putting the convertible top down, showing off his perfectly polished red Euro sportscar at the trendy outdoor car show, is our latest Red Car Small Penis featured driver!  Is this the vicarious equivalent of stripping, except in this case, the car interior is quantifiably more exciting than what the driver has in his boxers or briefs.

Little does this "red shirt" know that all of the hot girls at the car show are doing the mathematical penis size equation:  red shirt plus red car equals small penis!  Why do small penis humiliation guys have to show off their red sportscars at car shows?  It's only an expensive advertisement for:  Hey Everyone - Look at Me - I Have a Small Penis! 

Cuckolding women only want "wallets on wheels" anyway.  Screw the sex literally, these small dick humiliation losers will be lucky to get permission to give themselves a thumb job and only after they've gotten ultra spendy with the girls who will "car cuckold" them!  As I have defined on my main Sara's Playroom website the concept of sports cuckold, my newest cuckold definition is "car cuckold"!   I'll be delving into and blogging about the "car cuckold" concept as opportunities "arise".

Note to Red Car Small Penis blog readers:  If you have a picture of you posing with your red car, email the photo to me with your humiliating story and stats about your lack of manhood along with the specs about your car hood.

Red Car, Small Penis Under the Desk?

Overcompensating!

Girls need to make red sportscar owners aware that they are overcompensating when they buy a set of expensive red Italian wheels. {pinkie wave} It looks like this red car owner also spends hours in the gym and tanning, well what else can he do, he can't grow a larger penis!

Nicole said notice it is parked to a big black Hummer lolol....

A Red Penis Car Driving Thru a Tunnel??? Nooo!!!!

One of my admirers sent me the link to this clip from The Family Guy. Enjoy!

Red Lada, Large Penis!

....Boasts about his large dick, doesn't have the flashy car to back it up?? This article asserts that a man must have acquired expensive possessions to be sexually desirable, that a large penis will only get a guy so far. Well at least it gets the guy pussy! But seriously, it does posit an interesting theory: If you are a male endowed with a large penis, you should become an Alpha male and acquire possessions and wealth. Without these things, a hung man is just a "penis". Nothing wrong with that in my book. My upcoming book, which may take years to write, get published, etc. But I have dubbed this category of men "service males". Sexual service males. Women just use service males as life-sized dildos and don't care what they drive! It's not about the car, it's about the ride!

"A London man whose 11-inch penis has gained him many admirers among the female sex is nothing more than "a sad inadequate" who compensates for his inability to acquire a prestige motor vehicle by "continually boasting" of his sexual conquests while continuing to drive a second-hand Lada Estate, say his friends.


"It's pathetic," said a drinking buddy of well-endowed Bob Matthews. "All we ever hear is 'I gave this bird the full eleven inches', or 'she couldn't wait to get her laughing gear round the 11-incher'. The fact is, everybody knows that it took Bob three attempts to pass his driving test. Then he bought a Triumph Herald before moving on to the bloody Lada. What he really wants is a BMW, and that's why we have to put up with his continual bragging."

A leading psychiatrist confirmed this analysis, noting: "In a society where social standing is measured by possessions, failure to obtain an impressive form of transport may result in deep-seated feelings of inadequacy. Although Bob is exceptionally gifted in the trouser department, it's clear that this cannot compensate for his failure to acquire the car of his dreams."

Bob strongly refutes the allegations. "When you're hung like a horse, women don't care what sort of car you drive," he told The Rockall Times. "But when I win the lottery and get that fuc*k-off red Ferrari, then I'll be able to pull some real class totty."

Click for UK article

Red car, black wifebeater and....

3.5 INCHES!!!!

The Only Hummer Small Penises Can Buy....

Goddess - I loved Your blog - lol, I did have a red car and I have a tiny penis and bitsy balls. I drive a Lexus, and I wonder if there's not something to that, too...men in luxury cars.** It seems like the guys with the big dicks usually drive trucks and similar manly vehicles. Of course, there's always the little weasel in the Hummer (the small one, of course). What about motorcycles? More likely big, is my guess. I had a roommate with a bike and he was hung like a horse...his dates used to scream!

**See my post (scroll below) titled 'Sedan Size Dilemma' for the Lexus drivers! Sara

Autoerotica!

Edward belongs to a club, a very select club, it's kind of like Triple AAA, but for car lovers. OK, maybe you didn't get it yet. Literally, car lovers. Men who love cars in 'that' way. Edward has done over 1000 cars. He hugs and kisses them and...the UK Telegraph article didn't say if he tailpiped them but I would imagine he might get 'autosexual'. Edward relays how tempted he is if he's driving down the road and sees a cute car parked by itself, how lonely it looks, how it looks like it needs some loving! Usually, when I see guys going up to cars like that, I think they're assessing whether they're going to break in or steal the car, not sex it up! Maybe I've been missing something.... But back to Edward, his current girlfriend is a white old style VW Beetle as you see in the photo. Wasn't that Herbie the Love Bug? Is Edward car gay? No, he claims he's not gay, even tho his most ultimate sexual experience was with the helicopter from some 80's tv show Airwolf.


Read the Telegraph Article!

The President of...

...the Red Car Small Penis Club for Men

Comment emailed to me: Sara, the Smart Car is actually losing $ out the tailpipe, so ribbing Jurgen Schrempp of Daimler Chrysler is totally appropriate. Why manufacture a little 2-seater trunk-less city car with poor gas mileage? Daimler first set sales goals for the year at 130,000 units, then trimmed it to 80,000 units. They've only sold 10,000. Yikes.

Google Earth can find you....

...if you have a small penis car

Small Penis, No Problem!

You can buy small penis extension devices...

Comment emailed to me: Sara, this is actually a DaimlerChrysler Smart Car. I wrote you about the Smart Cars in my other email. I would agree with you, this guy obviously has a small penis, because who else would spend so much time & money showing off their engineering wizardry to penisize a little red Smart Car.

Ned, I am lifting your term 'penisize'! Perfect! Penisize will make an appearance in my blog when I have the time to do up a sticky blogpost on penisizing! Sara

Can't Afford the Real Thing Yet

Shining up the Penis Car

Small dick boys keep their penis cars lovingly polished, no other color but red looks utterly dulled out when unwaxed. Small penis drivers love to wax-and-polish-wax-and-polish or pay a 'detailer' to take care of it for them. Detailers can make the penis....or car shinier!

A Case of Balls bigger than the Penis!

Red 'Cargasm'

My penis is faster than your penis!

'Show'ing off....

Doesn't drive his red penis car everyday, drives it on the weekend to car shows, thinks his taste in British antique collector sportscars will impress the ladies, but all it says is 'Look at my wee widdle willie!'

{Note in the background other red drop-tops join the small penis party}

Micro-penis

I'm all for being environmentally conscious ergo driving an electric car, but I can't overlook in this case, it means a very small penis....

If you wear this....

....you are hung like a hamster

Gay gay gay and gay