Red Car Cuckold!

Smiling as he's putting the convertible top down, showing off his perfectly polished red Euro sportscar at the trendy outdoor car show, is our latest Red Car Small Penis featured driver!  Is this the vicarious equivalent of stripping, except in this case, the car interior is quantifiably more exciting than what the driver has in his boxers or briefs.

Little does this "red shirt" know that all of the hot girls at the car show are doing the mathematical penis size equation:  red shirt plus red car equals small penis!  Why do small penis humiliation guys have to show off their red sportscars at car shows?  It's only an expensive advertisement for:  Hey Everyone - Look at Me - I Have a Small Penis! 

Cuckolding women only want "wallets on wheels" anyway.  Screw the sex literally, these small dick humiliation losers will be lucky to get permission to give themselves a thumb job and only after they've gotten ultra spendy with the girls who will "car cuckold" them!  As I have defined on my main Sara's Playroom website the concept of sports cuckold, my newest cuckold definition is "car cuckold"!   I'll be delving into and blogging about the "car cuckold" concept as opportunities "arise".

Note to Red Car Small Penis blog readers:  If you have a picture of you posing with your red car, email the photo to me with your humiliating story and stats about your lack of manhood along with the specs about your car hood.

Red Car, Small Penis Under the Desk?

Is Pink the New Red?

When I was growing up, one Christmas all I hoped and wished for, was a Malibu Barbie. Santa found a way to get the doll under the fake tree and make my dream come true. Next Christmas, all I wanted was the pink Malibu Barbie Jeep, alas, I didn't get the pink ride, but a pink car totally made sense to me at that age. Now, when I think of a pink car, I envision some pimped up pink retro wheels, not a real car that someone would drive. But yes, Santa, there is a pink Barbie car in production! Here is the press release from Mattel and Fiat.



"It's a fashionista car, but quite tongue-in-cheek and with lots of charm: just like Barbie® herself. The gleaming paintwork resembles varnish and definitely makes for a shock effect, achieved with deep lacquered colour using ultra fine aluminium plunged in deep, up-to-the-minute pink. The seating is upholstered in strikingly soft fabrics: silver laminated Alcantara® is not only trendy but plush to the touch and its glimmer bounces as far as the roof panel. Then there are mats enhanced with natural silk yarn and sleek viscose, not to mention lip glosses in brilliant colours stored in the glove compartment, plus a LED-decked vanity mirror to ensure perfect application. And there's more. The car has more features than a crown has jewels! Crystals sparkle on interior bezels, hubcaps, outer window mouldings and antenna and even outline the doll's famed silhouette on the pillars. Lastly, this Fiat 500 show car also has its own glossy cover, featuring the distinctive Sixties version of the Fiat 500 and a Barbie® autograph.

The latest Fiat 500 show car will appear in public for the first time on Monday 9 March, from 6.30pm onwards, when it will race through the quintessential streets of Milan's fashion district. Barbie® will be aboard and she'll have her own special driver: Ken, of course. On arriving at the entrance to La Rinascente department store, in Piazza Duomo, Barbie® will leave the car and walk the unique pink carpet created just for her. The band Nena will be playing live in the background, reviving some of the most famous pop songs from the fifty years of the legendary fashion doll's existence.

Roberto Giolito, creator of the Fiat 500, had this to say about the Mattel-Fiat partnership scheme: "All-American Ms Barbie® already has a number of 'transport solutions' available, like thundering GTs and motor homes with endless accessories. So if she's spotted a 500 and wants one as a gift for this landmark birthday, it's a signal typical of modern times that there's a renewed need for dreaming the simple things in life, which give so much, allow us to lighten up, thrill who's born beautiful or just feels beautiful, but doesn't have to prove anything. After all, Barbie® already has everything. Sleek Barbie® is a looker, smart enough to listen to everyone, a universal ambassador opting for a car that never divides but frees everyone from having to declare their social status. The new 2009 version celebrates her birthday with a model that offers a better view of the sun and the stars, all the better for continuing to dream, especially daydreams."

photo c/o Fiat / Mattel Electronic Press Release

Red Ferrari GTO - Most Expensive Car in the World!

Ralph Lauren has one. So does Pink Floyd drummer Nick Mason and some of the richest men in the world. Now you can get your hands on an extremely rare automotive icon, a legendary 1963 Ferrari 250 GTO being offered for private treaty sale by RM Auctions, at a price that could easily top $25 million. The car, chassis no. 4675 GT from an important Japanese collection, is one of only 36 250 GTOs originally produced and one of a limited few with Series II GTO bodywork. In 2008 British real estate baron Bill Ainscough reportedly sold his 250 GTO for about $28 million to an anonymous tycoon, making it the world's most expensive car. "The Ferrari GTO is unquestionably one of the most iconic and coveted cars in the world," notes Max Girardo, Managing Director of RM Europe. "This is truly a rare occasion for collectors to acquire such an important piece of automotive history."

From Luxist.com

Very rarely does a Ferrari 250 GTO come up for sale, and if it does, you'll probably never hear about it. Most sales are done behind closed doors, and the amount of said transactions are almost never disclosed to the public. That's just part of the mystique behind the world's most valuable car, and it's partially why the cars are so coveted. Just 36 examples were built between 1962 and 1963, each still in existence and easily carrying an eight-figure price tag. A few years ago, a 250 GTO supposedly changed hands for nearly $30 million, but no one can completely confirm the rumor.

We will, however, have more details about the next sale of a 250 GTO. RM Auctions have announced that they will be doing a "private treaty sale" of 1963 250 GTO chassis #4675GT. The car has been in possession of its current Japanese owner, Yoshiho Matsuda, since 1996 (a low point for the value of the car compared to the high prices of the late 1980s), and it has an extensive racing history.

We saw the car at the Pebble Beach Concour d'Elegance back in 2004, and while its Series II bodywork isn't quite as stunning as earlier models, it's still an extraordinarily beautiful car. If you've got millions of dollars just sitting around, now is the time to break out the checkbook and buy your very own rolling piece of V12-powered Italian artwork. Hit the jump for the official press release from RM or click the high-res gallery below for a beautiful studio shot plus several of our photographs from our 2004 encounter with the car.

From Autoblog.com

Unfortunately, I won't be able to measure the penis sizes of the owners of the most expensive red car in world, but I would guess they are not only throwing money after their automotive passion, but also to compensate for their lack of endowment!

photo c/o Luxist.com

Overcompensating!

Girls need to make red sportscar owners aware that they are overcompensating when they buy a set of expensive red Italian wheels. {pinkie wave} It looks like this red car owner also spends hours in the gym and tanning, well what else can he do, he can't grow a larger penis!

Nicole said notice it is parked to a big black Hummer lolol....

A Red Penis Car Driving Thru a Tunnel??? Nooo!!!!

One of my admirers sent me the link to this clip from The Family Guy. Enjoy!

It had to be Red!

"I always wanted a Red Corvette, I wasn't interested in any other color, it had to be Red.  I think the color Red on a car is flashy and attracts attention.  I guess that's another thing I wanted, for people to notice me  driving down the road.  For them to think:  wow, nice wheels.  When I had finally had the cash to buy a Corvette, it was going to have to be what is known in the car lingo as my "daily driver" car, so I knew I'd have to be careful and watch for speed traps and radar guns, since I heard red sportscars got the most tickets.  Myth or truth, not sure.  Maybe cops have small penis and sporty red car envy?

Anyway, I went to a Corvette Rally.  Some of the Vettes were for sale and I immediately fell in love with this classic Red Corvette, 1988.  I like the style of the older Vettes.  This car had been pampered, and wasn't a "daily driver" car, it had very low miles.  Because Corvette bodies are fiberglass, I didn't have to work about rust buying a car over twenty years old.  Did you know the Corvette gets the best gas mileage of any sportscar?  So I made my deal, got my dream car.  Sweet little Red Corvette, just like the Prince song. I didn't know until I was driving it around, what girls really thought of guys who drive red sportscars.  I had girls give me the small penis size hand signals or laugh at me.  I even got teased about it at work. "Fortieth birthday, time to get a Red Corvette, eh?"  Some of my buddies thought it was a mid-life crisis car, which was also embarrassing.  Still, I wouldn't trade it in for a black or silver Corvette. I'll just have to live with being a Red Corvette owner."

But was it a Red Ferrari?

Michael Bay admits that he auditioned Megan Fox for her break-out role in Transformers in a most unusual way. Instead of the casting couch, it was the car wash, well, in his driveway, while he filmed her. Megan Fox confirms that she washed his Ferrari for her audition. Bay owns both a Porsche and a Ferrari, but I haven't been able to uncover which one is red. One of them has to be red, right? And according to the New York Post, Bay doesn't know what happened to the car wash audition footage, although, let's guess: it plays on Michael Bay's laptop quite frequently!

Wash Job

photo c/o the Associated Press

The Red Room

The Haynes Motor Museum in Somerset, England has over 400 collector cars, including 50 red cars in a special Red Room! Certain to make little willies erect with a plethora of red sportscars in one spot! Lamborghinis, Ferraris and Porsches, oh my! This Red Car lover never wants to leave!

From Russia, With Love

From Pravda Online, September 3, 2009

Car manufacturers have long noticed that the sexier a car looks, the better it sells. Indeed, those dependable yet nondescript, dumb, small and sexless vehicles do not sell like hotcakes. It is only logical that people find certain things sexy in a car. No wonder recent surveys revealed that most women think there is a strong correlation between the size of a man’s car and his ego or his virility, for that matter.

The relation between cars and sex is quite obvious. A car can be easily used as a 'passion wagon'. (The slang term refers to a car or van used for purposes of dating or/and seduction). Forget stretch limos with cream leather upholstery – you can feel a thrill when trying a variety of positions even in the back seat of your Skoda or Lada.


Red Skoda!
Special car parks for the romantically involved on wheels have become quite popular in many countries. The facilities allow couples to make out in the privacy of their cars without breaking the law when it comes to public morals. Americans use outdoor drive-in cinemas for the same purposes, hence another popular slang term for the venue: a passion pit.

News flash from the USA to the former USSR, there are virtually no drive-in theaters left in America! America's new passion pit is Facebook.


photo c/o Wikipedia Commons

Smashing the Red Small Penis Car!!!

Poetic Justice that the Nissan Titan is charcoal Black!

Red Car Screen Savers!

Like porn for small penises. There are mostly silver and black car screensavers, classy....but then there are 2 screensavers featuring red sportscars: a Ferrari (natch!) and one with a double dose of red aptly titled "When One Is Not Enough" (above). Plus the infamous orange Lambo, because orange is the new red!

Reward for a Small Penis!

According to Auto Pacific data, the Chevy Corvette "seems to be more often a reward car. Its' buyers are older than the industry average, with 88% born before 1956. Only 11% of Corvette owners are in Gen Y or Gen X. Sadly, the usual stereotype of the Corvette buyer as a 57-year old male deep in a mid-life crisis is proven."

Notice the placement of the hands! That can only mean one thing! Proud of Red Corvette, Shamed of Small Penis!

The Red Car Jackpot!

Click HERE to view on flickr. The guy who took these shots and posted on flickr seems to be a spotter of hot and expensive wheels, but couldn't help himself from setting a special tag just for RED ones. Oh my!

My favorite pic is above. Girls just bored, lounging around or talking on cellie with a Red Porsche in plain sight! The Red Porsche does not even draw their attention, because they know what a Red Porsche means! No wonder why the dude had to run into the florist and buy some flowers for his hot date. Driving the Red Porsche 911 will not be enough to score some pussy, small penis man must give date flowers!

image c/o flickr

Rent yourself out with your red Ferrari! For bachelor or bachelorette parties! OK Ferrari Guy, what bad 70's or 80's band were you in where you made enough bank to buy a custom built red Ferrari with 24K gold wheels, a bling-y Gibson guitar and snakeskin boots?

OMG Red Ferrari Guy also rents himself out with his 2002 Aztec Red Cadillac El Dorado Touring coupe!

Nothing says ultra small penis like owning 2 pimped out red cars!

Check out Ferrari Guy's photos here if you dare...

Why why why did Wikipedia delete his entry??? (recovered below)

"Tony Tag is a mysterious character who probably lives in the area of Oak Park, Illinois where he is most frequently sighted. For years he’s been spotted around Oak Park and throughout all the Chicagoland area (numerous Bally’s health-clubs, grocery stores, bars, jogging, driving down various major thoroughfares in the western suburbs).

Tony has the flamboyant appearance of an aging, retired porn star or perhaps an early 80’s, southern California cheese metal/glam rock band. Easy to recognize, he appears in his mid 40’s to early 50’s, has a leathery, tan complexion and a blond, longish, mussed up hairdo (a la Sammy Haggar). Tony is usually seen driving his lipstick red Ferrari with gold chrome and spoked rims with the vanity plates “TONY TAG”.

Though he also has a Cadillac (also lipstick red with gold chrome and spoked rims). Even more strange, it seems the Cadillac has exactly the same "TONY TAG" vanity plates. Given the dubious legality of 2 cars with the same plates, this does need to be verified. His fetish for red includes most of his clothes (red gym attire, silk evening shirts, tight pants), gym bag, and sunglasses. Even his iPod is red.

When Tony arrives at Bally’s for his workout, he ALWAYS manages to get the EXACT same parking space (conveniently located by the door). Despite the crowded conditions and other trolling cars fishing for a space, it is as if the Gods have timed his arrival such that he can slip into the aforementioned space just as the previous occupant pulls out. Tony effortlessly gets his way, unaware of the seemingly Divine Order that delivers him the goods. He seems possessed by some strange, magical aura of undeserved protection and invincibility. Like some oblivious stooge strutting down the street jamming to his iPod with bricks falling out of the sky, Tony moves and grooves carelessly, neither aware nor concerned of the potential danger that never seems to touch him or the good fortune that always befalls him."

screen capture c/o Ferrari Guy website, red Ferrari pic c/o flickr

When the Car Fits the Penis

It doesn't have to be red....one of my favorite Niteflirt callers confesses that he drives a small white Toyota Matrix which mirrors his 5-ish whiteboy dick. It truly is an advertisement for his size, it just isn't jumping out at a girl screaming:

REDCARSMALLPENIS!!

Blue Beater Car = Blue Balls

The hot girls who pull up next to the freecreditreportdotcom dudes are in a cool red convertible ride, but the freecreditreport dorks are in a blue beater. This is actually symbolic of the blue balls they are going to have from not getting pussy due to their lack of $, or a cool ride. Blue beater car = blue balls.



*Note that beater is slang for a beat-up car

The Red Car Small Penis Parade!

(CNN) Oregon State Senior Trooper David Petersen caught six exotic sports cars speeding on a stretch of Highway 18 near Grand Ronde on Thursday, according to a news release.

Perhaps a more amazing feat was that he stopped all the cars simultaneously.

"They just were all good little soldiers and pulled right over," Oregon State Police spokesman Lt. Gregg Hastings told CNN.

One of the drivers was later cited again on a different highway.

The drivers of the cars -- consisting of Ferraris, a Lamborghini and an Acura NSX -- told Petersen they were part of a group of 20 similar cars making an annual road trip, the news release said.

They were all cordial and cooperative, and were cited with speed racing, a class A traffic violation that can command a fine of $627, Hastings said.

After receiving reports Thursday morning that several sports cars were speeding and passing in no-pass zones west of Grand Ronde, Petersen set up east of the casino town, near McMinnville, and waited.

Five of the cars soon blew past him, running about 100 mph in a 55-mph zone, Hastings said. As Petersen pulled onto Highway 18 in pursuit, a sixth car passed him.

"I guess when you're going too fast, you're between a rock and a hard place," Hastings said.

Highway 18 runs from Dayton, Oregon, in the Willamette Valley to the Pacific coast. The stretch where the cars were cited is considered particularly dangerous and the Oregon Department of Transportation provides additional funding to enforce traffic laws there, Hastings said.

About two hours after the incident, another trooper pulled over the orange Lamborghini from the group in Multnomah Falls, about 90 miles east. The driver of the car, which bore the the license plate "BADBUL," was cited for driving 90 in a 65-mph zone, according to a news release.

# # # # #



Of course the cars all pulled over, this was the annual Red Car Small Penis Parade! And the orange Lamborghini getting ticketed twice just proves: Orange is the new Red! And his vanity license plate, soooo intimidating, he should have had a pair of bullballs hanging from the ass end of his Lambo. Sara



story from CNN

Tiny's Ex-Ride

Gay Cars!

CLICK :: Top Ten Gay Cars at this year's Detroit Auto Show!


Brett Berk of Vanity Fair online is right, I mean how gay is a red Chevy Cruze?!?!?

Red with Envy!

"Sorry About Your Penis" is a statement commonly yelled out when a guy rolls down the street in a sportscar or a pimped up SUV or oversized pickup truck. A new theory posted at everything2.com delivers a controversial smack to the stereotype that the men in these vehicles have small penises. Instead the theory puts forth that the men calling out "Sorry About Your Penis" are merely wishing they had a car/truck like that and want to get an ego boost by claiming the person driving it is just compensating for a small penis.

This might work if the person yelling out "Sorry About Your Penis" is a dude. However, if the driver has been "holla'd" at by a chick, whose small penis radar has gone off like a car alarm, then the driver is sporting a shorty, in his pants that is.

Hummerific

"Whenever I see a man driving a Hummer, I think to myself
it must be tough having a small cock! Whenever I see a woman
driving a Hummer, I think to myself she's driving her
man's car out looking for a big cock!" -- Blog Commenter

so true....Sara

Red Lada, Large Penis!

....Boasts about his large dick, doesn't have the flashy car to back it up?? This article asserts that a man must have acquired expensive possessions to be sexually desirable, that a large penis will only get a guy so far. Well at least it gets the guy pussy! But seriously, it does posit an interesting theory: If you are a male endowed with a large penis, you should become an Alpha male and acquire possessions and wealth. Without these things, a hung man is just a "penis". Nothing wrong with that in my book. My upcoming book, which may take years to write, get published, etc. But I have dubbed this category of men "service males". Sexual service males. Women just use service males as life-sized dildos and don't care what they drive! It's not about the car, it's about the ride!

"A London man whose 11-inch penis has gained him many admirers among the female sex is nothing more than "a sad inadequate" who compensates for his inability to acquire a prestige motor vehicle by "continually boasting" of his sexual conquests while continuing to drive a second-hand Lada Estate, say his friends.


"It's pathetic," said a drinking buddy of well-endowed Bob Matthews. "All we ever hear is 'I gave this bird the full eleven inches', or 'she couldn't wait to get her laughing gear round the 11-incher'. The fact is, everybody knows that it took Bob three attempts to pass his driving test. Then he bought a Triumph Herald before moving on to the bloody Lada. What he really wants is a BMW, and that's why we have to put up with his continual bragging."

A leading psychiatrist confirmed this analysis, noting: "In a society where social standing is measured by possessions, failure to obtain an impressive form of transport may result in deep-seated feelings of inadequacy. Although Bob is exceptionally gifted in the trouser department, it's clear that this cannot compensate for his failure to acquire the car of his dreams."

Bob strongly refutes the allegations. "When you're hung like a horse, women don't care what sort of car you drive," he told The Rockall Times. "But when I win the lottery and get that fuc*k-off red Ferrari, then I'll be able to pull some real class totty."

Click for UK article

Q's for Sara

Sara what color car do you drive?

My current and past cars are both white. Sensible for Florida weather. Hot! Both Hondas. Reliable!

Have you ever dated a guy with a red car?

Eeeek. No. I always ask what color car a guy drives. This is like one of the first things I ask. And this throws a guy off. A guy thinks he should answer with the year, make and model too.

Example:

Sara -- What color car do you drive?

Small dickster -- Well babe let me tell you I drive a 2007 Red Mercedes SL7

Sara -- Aha. That tells me all I need to know. Thanks for the drink. Toodles!

redcarsmallpenis

will be the new URL for my blog! bookmark it!



I'll be archiving the posts here at blogspot, but will begin blogging from a website sometime this year. I know, I know, I'm going legit, imagine!